We cannot live on fried chicken sandwiches alone (particularly if they’re starting to “Double Down” again), nor can we subsist entirely on The Meats and/or hacked delivery pizzas. Or at least, I certainly can’t, which was why I was relieved and excited to dig deep into the garden of Chopt with my guide for first-timers. But of course, Big Brother Google is always watching, and its algorithm picked up on my natural affinity for some good green stuff. Some sweet green stuff. So it served me up some Sweetgreen.

In no time, I was seeing Sweetgreen ads pop up everywhere, reminding me that, oh yeah, there’s a whole other chain devoted to expensive-ass fancy salads in my area. What are the differences, if any, between Sweetgreen and Chopt, the latter of which I’ve just become a seasoned expert on? Which artisanal salad chain makes the better artisanal salad? I wanted to get the dirt on Sweetgreen and determine if one artisan lunch spot would come out on top or if it’s simply—apologies in advance—a toss-up.

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